5 PROCESSES TO MASTER YOUR EMOTION

In this post, I will share five magic techniques I use to develop a strong emotional state of mind following disaster. Why write this now? Just last week my friend, a high-level manager, called me and said that he needs a good lawyer to fight accusations against him. He lost his position in a large company and has since been additionally sued by others he never imagined would do so. His emotions are all over the place, swinging from frustration, anger, hate, sadness and apathy. What can he do?

We are all looking for a better quality of life, but sometimes we get stuck on our way. We are subject to external events beyond our control, which often impede us from accomplishing things we are normally capable of. Things out of our hands can often stand in the way of goals such as winning a project or election, advancing in our career, losing weight, improving relationships, overcome fear and finding happiness.

Of course my friend has to look at how to defend himself against these accusations, but I hope the attorney I suggested can act as a psychological counselor as well as a legal one, helping him focus on his past position and achievements and cultivate a positive outlook for the future. The risk for my friend is to think permanently about his present losses and enemies—the more energy and thought he spends on his current misfortune, the bigger the problem becomes in his life. The more he dwells on the past, the less he will be able to focus on the future.

My friend has to make decisions about what he can do independent of the outcome of his court case, as we cannot predict, or often even control, such things. We can, however, prepare for our future and gain new energy and create new options for ourselves. We might lose a battle but not the war.

I observe that many people get stuck in their present pattern of negative thinking and focus the majority of their time on their “enemies” and bad circumstances. This leads them to feel like a victim, and therefore helpless. The breakthrough out of this pattern of thinking usually follows a magic moment of clarity, where a new perspective clicks inside and inspires you anew. It could come from anywhere—a conversation, a movie, a book.

CHOOSING WHAT WE FOCUS ON IS THE SINGLE GREATEST POWER THAT CONTROLS OUR LIFE.

Professional business coaching helps you let go of emotions like hate, sadness, anger and fear that only consume energy and keep you from making the good decisions that you would from a position of courageousness and inner peace.

STOP FIGHTING THE PAST; DECIDE TO LOOK AND DESIGN YOUR NEW FUTURE

I was in a position similar to my friend’s when I suddenly lost one of my businesses overnight. I felt anger and hate and guilt like I could have never imagined before. My rational thinking was gone, my heart was not calm and I was focusing on revenge and fighting back and defending. What would I do differently today? I believe that letting go of that hate and anger more quickly gives me the power and guidance to move to new horizons sooner. As long as all my actions are based in an emotional state of guilt and harm, I will not be able to take such a situation as a new opportunity. This subconscious blockade makes going forward much harder than it would be in a state of fun and courageousness. The belief that “I can win” is muddled up with self-doubt. The question “What if I fail again?” plagues us with confusion and prevents success.

What I recommend:

1. Transcendental meditation (Deepak Chopra)
2. Hale Dwoskin’s book Letting Go
3. Listen to Jim Fortins podcasts while walking in nature
4. Exercise for at least an hour each day—running, swimming, focus on your body
5. Talk to a success coach and meet positive people

Our mind is permanently in action and as long as it is focused on that little black point on a sheet of white paper, we will be consumed by the past. We need to remember that we cannot change the past, and as long as our thinking is focused on that past issue, we will continue to attract similar negative issues into our lives. We need to remember all the white opportunities that are there and waiting for us. I invite you to create your future.

What to avoid:

1. Drugging yourself with excessive food, alcohol and shopping
2. Talking with “friends” about the past—this will make that elephant grow
3. Feeling pity for yourself
4. Escaping from your own feelings by living other peoples’ lives
5. Hiding behind a pile of work and pushing the problem deeper inside

Letting go of the past and starting over is possible at any age. For those who desire support from a business coach to unfold their highest potential, I have created a coaching program called “Design Your Life”.

Click here if you wish to learn more about my coaching program.